obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

methvevo:

should i message them again or am i just being really clingy and annoying: a life story by me

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

I’m not like other teens. I’m 47

getoffmybloghoe:

when you lose your phone in the blanket and you just image

anogoodrabblerouser:

The odds of being attacked by a shark in the US are 1 in 11,500,000, but no one gets mad at people who want to avoid the ocean.

The odds of a woman being sexually assaulted in her lifetime are 1 in 6, but if she doesn’t feel safe around strange men she’s a stereotyping bitch.

Strange old world we live in.

onedirectioncutefacts:

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

HOT AS FUCK

I wanna be that one girl who looks really cute but also gives off the vibe that she could snap your neck if you disrespect her like is that possible for me